The Big Deal about Big Love

HBO's new series Big Love has gotten quite a bit of press, mostly aimed towards its portrayal of a polygamous family.  The key word being "polygamous."  Perhaps some of their promos mentioned the word "Utah."  One word you most definitely didn't see, however, was "Mormon."

Interesting, that.  Especially since, from where I'm standing, the show's about a Mormon polygamous family -- the most relevant word being "Mormon."

I wonder how the press -- and the Mormon church -- would have reacted to that?

So far, I'm liking the show quite a bit.  The acting is superb.  The portrayal of the benefits and challenges of living a close-knit polyamorous lifestyle are sometimes spot-on, and are sometimes close enough to be painful.  Yes, in real life all of these issues wouldn't be coming up all at the same time -- but this is TV.  While I think it would be great to see a polyamorous relationship  as being mostly ordinary and not so different from any other family, that doesn't make for exciting TV.  It's much more entertaining to take all the issues that might ordinarily come up over a couple of years -- and take weeks or months to build -- and compress them into an episode or three.

Even so, it's my impression that polygamy, by itself, can't be all that exciting -- otherwise why would you need someone to attempt poisioning the male lead's father, and the leader of the father's community/compound to be trying to get money from the male lead?

Nope, the show isn't about polygamy, not really.  It's about being Mormon, trying to live a "normal" suburban lifestyle while holding tightly to tenets of the church (including polygamy), and about some of the less-pleasant aspects of certain segments of the Mormon community (real or potential).

Mormons who engage in polygamy have a very strict model of it:  wives have certain privileges and/or responsibilities based on when they came into the marriage; having and raising many children is a primary goal of all relationships; wives are expected to relate in certain ways (or, perhaps more accurately, a model of how they should interact has developed over the years, and many/most polygamous Mormons follow it).  So even to the extent that the show depicts polygamy, it depicts Mormon-style polygamy.  There's not a lot of room for the type of flexibility other polyamorous folks of my acquaintance tend to have, for good or for ill.

The teenager subplots seem to involve, if not focus on, religion:  dealing with dating and sex; talking with friends about one's religious beliefs/views.  And the whole Mormon compound thing is all about the religious leader's hold on the community and even those who leave it.

So -- why not just say it's a show about Mormons?

Yup.  You already know the answer to that, as do I:  it could lead to a serious outcry by Mormon leaders, and potentially by religious anti-defamation groups in general.  How dare you profit by depicting adherents of our religion in such a sensationalistic way!   Especially since you're showing them engaging in arguably illegal activity!

I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  Yes, HBO has a right to broadcast shows about whatever it wants to -- I'm not doubting that.  It's more of a good taste thing.  Do I feel that HBO is doing a disservice to Mormons by airing Big Love?   How would I feel if it had a series about a Satmar or Lubovicher family?  (Okay, I know the answer to that is fascinated, but that's probably a result of my living and going to law school in Brooklyn.  It took me years -- yes years -- to figure out that no, those very conservatively dressed women didn't all have the same bad haircut; they had similar wigs.  For that discovery this white-bread-suburban girl thanks Faye Kellerman, mystery author extrordinaire.)  A Buddhist monastery?  A Hindu family?  A Wiccan coven?

My primary response is that all of these could be fascinating studies of how people of various faiths incorporate their faiths into their daily lives.  Yes, perhaps a documentary would provide a more realistic view, but even the best made documentaries are dealing with real people who aren't living for the camera.  A fictional account provides better camera angles, better production values, better timing for a viewing audience -- and Ithink that's okay!  I still think Gore Vidal's Lincoln provided me with more knowledge of and insight into the Civil War than any non-fictional source, so I'm all in favor of reality-based fictional portrayals.  It's the sensationalistic parts -- in the case of Big Love it's mostly the manipulative religious leader -- that I have concerns about.

Yet again, it comes down to entertainment:  could a miniseries about the life of an "ordinary" Mormon polygamous family sustain a significant audience?  Well ... probably not.  Not even with the antics of the manipulative Second Wife (I wish I could criticize HBO for her portrayal, but I'm honest enough to admit that people are imperfect and that, yes, such people do exist in polyamorous relationships).  The question becomes, then, whether it's better to add sensational aspects to the depiction of a religious family or to not show it at all.

At the moment, I'm thinking my answer is that it depends on how badly you sensationalize, how likely it is that most viewers will think that the Bad Guy is representative of the religion.  I know that the Bad Guy in Big Love is just that -- the bad guy.  But I'm a fairly well-educated viewer -- does the average viewer realize that?  I don't know.  I know that I wouldn't be particularly happy if a show about a Wiccan coven had a subplot involving someone seeking advice from the main character high priestess because of manipulative or unethical stuff her own group leaders were doing.  Yes, it would help that the main characters were caring, ethical, upright people -- and yes, I know that manipulative and unethical Wiccan and Pagan leaders do exist.  Nonetheless, I'd worry that many/most viewers would think that the Bad Guy coven leaders were the norm.   (But I'd watch the show anyway.)

Overall, at this point, I think Big Love is still walking on the "right" side of the line.  In fact, I wish HBO and other subscription networks would do more shows like this.  I'd like to see into that Satmar or Hindu family, that Buddhist community (especially one in the US), that Wiccan coven.  I think that, for members of the group in question, all come with a potential, "Oy!" -- because they know that their own communities aren't perfect.  I think everyone -- yes, everyone -- would benefit from having the opportunity to get this sort of look into religious minorities.  To see the richness of tradition as well as the limitations; the beauty as well as the oddness.  Because, in all, there are both -- and it's in our knowledge of that diversity that we grow stronger.

Comments

[Shelley]

The Church of Latter Day Saints (Mormons by any other name....) did comment on this.

http://www.lds.org/newsroom/mistakes/0,15331,3885-1,00.html

[Siren's Trumpet]

Thanks for the link!

Their statement is actually a lot mellower than I would have expected. Then again, they're probably used to having to distinguish between their church and Mormon splinter sects.

[mr_teem]

Having now seen two episodes, it appears that the show attempts to show their religion is part of their life and explains the unusual arrangement and to some extent emphasizes that this is a small, splinter sect.

You might find this page interesting, a general discussion about groups that continue to practice polygamy and Mormonism: http://www.americanreligion.org/cultwtch/polygamy.html

And this is a longish essay about how sects still practicing polygamy have violent tendencies: http://www.exmormon.org/violence.htm

Those two essays alone would be enough to write a story with an interesting setting. (Or, as I was thinking a moment ago, "This would be a great LARP.")
Which, ultimately, is what "Big Love" is.

Viagra jokes, horny teenagers and catty sister/wives get old pretty quickly.

The political plot between Bill and Roman (and Frank, too, I think), the brief flashes of spirituality (and the consequences of same) and Bill's ongoing financial issues (can you really imagine owning three houses that nice) are more interesting.

And, thinking about one of the confrontations in Sunday's episode, maybe there will be a clear confrontation or explanation scene about the differences between the Mormon church and the Henricksons' sect.